GOP pool nothing to cheer about

There is no denying it; the full madness of the presidential election has befallen us. Usually with an incumbent president running, our nation is spared some of the electoral insanity by only having to watch one party stumble through the vicious cycle of mud-slinging, flip-flopping, and finger-pointing that is the candidate selection process. This year however, the Republicans are stepping up their act to provide us with a comprehensive demonstration of crazy.

Let's face it, President Obama's performance since 2008 has been less than satisfactory. The only thing Obama promised he'd do that has actually been done changing the healthcare system, and we all see how well that's gone. In general, the public is less than pleased with the knight in shining armor they elected and so strongly revered in 2008. According to a Gallup poll from the first week of January, Obama's approval rate is only 46 percent.

The question then remains, how can a Republican candidate not win this election? It should be easy to overthrow an incumbent over half the country already dislikes, but if history shows us anything, it's that our political parties have a knack for throwing away easy victories by running incompetants against incumbents. Let's review the pack of winners, shall we?

Herman Cain was the best joke politics has had since Monica Lewinski's dress. Not only was the pizza godfather completely inexperienced, every time he opened his mouth it gave late night talk shows a new punchline.

At the extreme right was a three-way rotating cast of teapartiers: trigger-happy and forgetful former Texas governor Rick Perry, ‘family values' freak Rick Santorum, and Michelle Bachman, a contender for Sarah Palin's ‘Most Clueless Woman in Politics' crown.

Moving on to the leading candidates we have Newt Gingrich, Ron Paul, Jon Huntsman, and Mitt Romney.

Gingrich has a little more experience than most the other candidates. This should give him an edge. Unfortunately, his support for child labor makes most people see him as some sort of cartoon villain. Even if he can overcome all the ‘Gingrinch' jokes he will never convince Republicans he's the new Ronald Reagan and he will never convince parents that their ten-year-olds should get jobs.

Ron Paul is a three time runner; the fact that he's being taken seriously this time speaks volumes about the weakness of the other candidates. In his last two attempts at the Presidency he was a laughing stock due to his support of the disbanding of social security, the legalization of all drugs, and the withdrawal of all U.S. troops from everywhere outside our borders. Call me crazy, but I don't think someone who is okay with sacrificing South Korea and Israel is really the best person to put in the White House.

In New Hampshire Jon Huntsman came out of nowhere. While he may be a better candidate than many of his opponents, his political strategy is so terrible that nobody knows who he is or what he stands for. Although he placed third in the New Hampshire primary, his fundraising and media coverage are so low that no political analysts expect him to last through February.

Finally, there is the frontrunner Mitt Romney. While he has appeal to the more moderate base, he would be a far more viable option if he could commit to a position. Romney can't seem to decide if he's a moderate or a conservative. It might not really matter which way he swings, but he has to pick. People may have a difficult time voting for a president whose stance on important issues isn't going to stay the same from twelve o'clock until noon. Additionally, analysts are predicting Romney's religion will sneak up and bite him any day now. While ridiculous, if John McCain's age and Hillary Clinton's wardrobe were targets in 2008, practicing a religion so widely questioned it has an award-winning musical dedicated to mocking it, is a bull's eye.

In summary, the outlook for 2012 is pretty grim. I just can't help but wonder how a nation with so much to offer can never come up with anyone better to represent us. Look out folks, it's going to be rough one.