The DePaulia

December 2011

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like ... 1789

Add this little nugget to your list of reasons why Home Depot should sell, "Do-It-Yourself Home Guillotine Kits." The toothless Securities and Exchange Commission just charged six former executives at mortgage firms Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae with playing down the risks of their subprime loans. Due to "standard director and officer insurance policies, Fannie and Freddie pay the legal fees of former executives."

Hey George, Check This Out! A Letter Responding to Bush Presidential Center Donation Request

The George W. Bush Presidential Center sent me a donation request in the mail the other day. After my nose-bleed subsided, I tried to figure out how I had landed on your mailing list. I remembered a crazed night back in 2004 that involved five bottles of Riesling and some half naked photos sent to Karl Rove. Surely that would've put me on some sort of list.

September 2011

I'll Show You Dramatic Conflict

Two weeks ago I attended my first Chicago Writers Loft workshop. I found out about the Loft while doing a Google search for something like "workshops to overcome the onset of laziness 17,000 words into your crappy novel."

Turn the Page

I had an epiphany as I was reading some Shel Silverstein to my son the other night: never wear a white shirt if your child has even the slightest hint of a digestive problem. Actually, I realized how much I love books. Ones made from paper that is, not the digitized or pixilated or holographic ones or even the 3D projections shot into the back of your retinas.

August 2011

Bert and Ernie: Nothing but a Bromance

Seems like our favorite "Sesame Street" pals have been caught in a bad bromance, in the words of Lady Gaga. Well, sort of.

Hey Babe, What's Your Browser?

A new report suggests that Internet Explorer users tend to have lower IQ scores than all other Internet browser users. UPDATE: The BBC has reported that ApTiquant was only recently set up and the staff images on the company's website were copied from Central Test, a research company in France.

While the news about the report may be disappointing and a bit unsurprising due to how the report was written, my opinions still stand. Get rid of Internet Explorer.

It's Not the Size of the Gravestone, It's How Deep They Bury You

When I was a child I used to shut my eyes as tightly as I could and think about what it would be like to be dead. I still do that when I'm on Lake Shore Drive on a Friday afternoon in horrible traffic. I often viewed the Graceland Cemetery in Lakeview from a passing Red Line train and thought to myself… "condos, condos, condos." Actually, I thought about who was buried there and what should we glean about life by walking amongst the dead.

July 2011

Everything Old is New Again

There's an old saying in the comedy world that there are no new bits, merely variations on previous ones. In the art world one could argue that there are no new themes, merely different ways of looking at old ones. And in the modern art world you could say, "What the hell is that supposed to be?"

Beauty and Brains: Can we have it all?

darla Move over Sarah Palin, there is a new ditz gunning for that office in the White House. Yet another "attractive" woman in the public eye making it hard for us to take these women seriously when they are trying to run for office. Bachmann's possessed "Stepford Wife" appeal certainly gives "Sexy Sarah" a run for her money.